Adventure in the Golden Woods
Summary: Rúmil and Orophin capture Lord Celeborn.
Story Notes and Warnings: Romance, AU, mild slash. Rating: G
Disclaimer: This is Tolkien's sandbox in which I play.
Characters: Rúmil, Orophin, Celeborn/Galadriel, Haldir/Glorfindel
Any mistakes are my own.
Zing! The missile flew through the air just missing the head of the silver-haired Lord of Lothlórien. High-pitched shrieks echoed from the branches of a nearby tree as two rosy-cheeked elflings slithered down its trunk and surrounded the hapless elf.
"We have captured you, Lord Celeborn!" Rúmil cried in a smug voice, wrapping his arms around his lord. His brother, Orophin, jumped up and down beside Rúmil, smiling with a toothy grin, "You are now our prisoner!"
"That is the third time today!" Lord Celeborn exclaimed, "You two are certainly destined to become great warriors!"
Lord Celeborn, who ruled the Golden Woods with his lady, Galadriel, was quite disheveled. Gone was his mithril circlet, silk and velvet robe of state. He was clad instead in worn leather, softened from use, and covered with stains of dirt and grass, as was much of Lord Celeborn himself. Dirt was smeared across both of his cheeks and upon the very tip of his regal nose. His shoulder length hair, normally coiffed and neatly braided, was tangled and mussed. Leaves and even a few small twigs peeped from within the silvered tresses, visible evidence of his fight with his captors.
"If you release me, you may each have a sticky bun." Lord Celeborn wheedled, trying to tempt the two warriors that held him fast, while at the same time wondering what their elder brother would say about spoiling the elflings' dinner. Orophin squealed and nodded his head up and down emphatically, but Rúmil gave his brother a glare that would have scorched soup.
"Do not let him bribe you, Orophin. That is the first trick an enemy will try!"
Lord Celeborn could tell Orophin faced a hard decision. He watched the young one's face as the battle between his sweet tooth and the approval of his brother took place. Finally, Rúmil won, for Orophin attacked Celeborn's legs and encircled them with his small arms, holding on as tightly as he could.
Not able to move without dragging the two elflings, Lord Celeborn surrendered to his fate. "Now that you brave warriors have captured me for the third time and have proven your mettle, do you think you could return me to my lady wife?"
"No!" Rúmil replied, "Not until you have served punishment for your evil ways!"
Eyes of robin's egg blue gazed in wonder at his brother. Orophin's mouth opened in a wide 'O'. He clutched Celeborn tighter with his chubby arms then looked up at his lord. "You must pay, Lord Celeborn. We will take you to our Captain, Haldir!"
"We will do no such thing!" Rúmil said, frowning at his younger brother. "Our prisoner must be confined in the darkest cave, chained to the wall and flogged till his back runs red with blood."
Wide blue eyes again looked up at Celeborn as Orophin nodded solemnly in agreement with Rúmil. "You have been very bad, Lord Celeborn. You must be punished!"
Rúmil kicked out his booted foot, connecting with his brother's leg. "Only little elflings like yourself are bad, Orophin. Our prisoner is pure evil. He has broken the law of the land and defied the Valar, he...
"Rúmil tried to think of the worst an elf could do.
"...he and his bandits killed twenty guardians, chopped them into tiny pieces and buried the pieces in a deep hole by the old Mallorn! Then they took the guardians' weapons and traded them for barrels of rum and they drank until all the barrels were dry and not a one of them could stand."
"Did I truly do such a dastardly deed?" Lord Celeborn replied, directing a shocked look at Rúmil then winking at Orophin. "I am still standing, am I not?"
"Do not let him speak, Orophin, he will ensorcel us with his magic and turn us into wargs. Hurry, we must hide him before his men attempt a rescue."
Rúmil tugged on Celeborn's tunic. "Move, you vile villain or we will cut your throat from ear to ear. Bind him, Orophin, so he cannot run!"
Pulling a stringy vine from a nearby bush, Rúmil handed it to his brother. Orophin clumsily wrapped the vine around Lord Celeborn's waist, binding Celeborn's arms to his side. He stepped back and put on his meanest frown. "You cannot run away now, Lord Celeborn!" Orophin clapped his hands, dancing around his lord in glee.
"Must I tell you how to do every thing!" Rúmil glared at his baby brother, grabbing Orophin's arm and pulling him aside. "His men could be hiding in those trees right now, while you dance and make noise like an Orc."
"I am NOT an Orc!" Orophin shouted. His chubby hands balled into fists and he took a swing at his older brother.
"Yes, you are," said Rúmil, effectively ducking the swing and leering at Orophin. "Orophin is an Orc, Orophin is an Orc," he repeated over and over in a sing-song voice.
Orophin launched an all out attack on his older brother. Lowering his head, he butted Rúmil in the stomach and whaled at his brother with both of his fists. But Rúmil was taller and stronger and simply danced out of Orophin's reach, laughing at and taunting him.
"Orcy, Orc, little Orc. P-u, you stink! Come here, little Orc-y." Rúmil teased.
"Rúmil, you take that back. I am not an Orc!" Orophin stamped his foot and glared at his brother.
"Perhaps, one should listen to one's own words," Lord Celeborn advised, "My partners-in-crime could be on their way to my rescue, drawn here by such loud and uncommonly rude speech."
The prisoner's summation of their predicament registered immediately with Rúmil, who clapped a hand over Orophin's mouth. "Quit your complaining and help me move the prisoner. We will take him to our secret cave."
Rúmil let go of Orophin and gave Lord Celeborn a push. "Move, you sluggard, or we will stick you with our swords." Orophin giggled and imitating Rúmil, gave the prisoner a push of his own.
"Hold!" a voice rang out as a grey clad figure suddenly blocked their path. The rasp of a sword leaving its sheath cut through the air and Rúmil and Orophin found they now faced a quite deadly foe.
"Release the prisoner or suffer the consequences!" Celeborn's rescuer spoke in a thunderous voice.
"Do we have to?" Orophin replied, disappointment showing clearly on his face. "We were just getting to the good part!"
Lord Celeborn stifled a grin as Rúmil turned immediately toward Orophin. "You are such a baby, Oro! Of course, we will not release our prisoner. He is our hostage. If his men want him so badly, they must offer us a ransom. And, it must be worth our while, or we will not accept it!"
Orophin stared at Rúmil for a moment then turned his gaze upon the intruder. He gulped. He was not sure which was worse, suffering the consequences of the "enemy" or the wrath of Rúmil.
"I shall give six coppers and two sticky buns for the exchange of Lord Celeborn," the intruder said, "That is my offer. You have till the count of five to accept it."
"Rúmil," Orophin tugged at Rúmil's tunic. "I want a sticky bun. I am hungry!"
"Keep quiet, Orophin," Rúmil glared at his brother. "You would sell your soul to fill your bottomless stomach."
"Ten coppers and four sticky buns and we will turn Lord Celeborn over." Rúmil shouted back at the intruder. "But you must promise to close your eyes and count to ten so we may escape."
"You drive a hard bargain, Master Rúmil," the stranger replied, "but I accept. Release Lord Celeborn from his bonds and I will fulfill my part of the agreement."
"Do as he says, Orophin," Rúmil replied, "And, be quick about it."
Orophin gave Lord Celeborn a hug and un-wrapped the vine from around his lord's waist.
"All right, you two," Haldir said with a sigh, sheathing his sword and turning his back on his younger brothers. "I will count to ten as you ask but do not stay away too long for dinner is on the table. You may have the sticky buns for dessert."
Before either Orophin or Rúmil could make a dash for it, an arrow thudded into a tree beside Haldir. Lord Celeborn moved in front of the elflings, pulling a small dagger from his boot. Haldir spun around, drew his sword and crouched, ready for a fight.
"We have you surrounded."A new voice, deep and resonant, sounded forth from within the woods. Leaves rustled from another location to prove the speaker's words true.
"We propose a new bargain," the stranger said, "fifty coppers and twelve sticky buns, which you must share. After you younglings have dined, you will turn Haldir and Lord Celeborn over to us. My partner promises to tuck Rúmil and Orophin snuggly into bed after their bath and tell them one story."
"We accept!" Rúmil cried happily thumping Orophin on the back.
Haldir and Lord Celeborn laughed as first Lord Glorfindel then Lady Galadriel stepped into the clearing, Glorfindel unstringing his bow.
"Come," Haldir said, offering his hands to his little brothers. "Dinner is getting cold."
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